Does Being Average Equal Success?

Average Joes' (That's Me!)

I grew up in a house where I was deemed the ‘average’ child. My brother, in comparison, was the ‘gifted’ one. My parent’s didn’t have very clear expectations for me, I think because I am a girl, they probably thought I would get married and become a housewife. My brother, on the other hand, was supposed to go to college and become a physicist or doctor. It’s strange how things turn out, not always as expected.

The reason I bring  up this topic is that I wonder if some people are destined to be exactly the way their parents think of them, or if they rebel against them to prove they are wrong, and what are the personality traits of successful people? In my case, I rebelled against my parents in almost every way I could think up. If they said, “Turn down that music!”, I would turn it up. If they said, “You can’t have a car until you can pay for it yourself!”, I went out as soon as I had saved $500 and came home with a beater. If they said they, “Didn’t think college was a good idea for me,” I told them I was going anyway. I did many things in spite of my parents and it molded who I am, an independent person who doesn’t give up easily.

I was truly an average student throughout my childhood, I never tried very hard and usually brought home B’s and C’s. I didn’t really put any effort towards education until I chose to go to college. Then, because it was my choice, I tried my best. In contrast, my brother was supported academically throughout high school. He did fairly well in academics, but struggled with social situations and events. He went off to college, but because he was finally on his own for the first time ever, he failed miserably. My parents’ had helped him so much as a child and teenager, he lost those vital independent skills needed to survive. Their ‘gifted’ child couldn’t hack college, and still is unable to live on his own (he’s nearing his 30th birthday!)

Now that I’m older, I try not to criticize my parents choices or how they raised us. I am not a parent, so I feel I really can’t analyze their choices too much. Yet, when I work with my students at school, I try not to categorize them as ‘gifted’, ‘average’, or ‘low’. My thought behind this is that if you box a kid into a category, he or she might be the type that doesn’t fight too hard to get out of that box, or the opposite can occur and a head-butting contest ensues. For children that meet the criteria for the ‘gifted’ program, it’s not a good idea to constantly remind them that they’re gifted. They might decide they don’t need to work hard, they become lazy. When something difficult comes up, they don’t know how to work through it. Telling kids that they’re ‘low’ may make them feel worthless and give up easily.

What all this boils down to are the key elements, or qualities, each person needs so that they can be successful as an adult. I’ve compiled a list that isn’t completely comprehensive, but it’s a good start:

• Tenacity – doesn’t give up until there are literally no other means.
• Independence - kid’s need to learn this young, they can begin doing their own laundry and small household chores in elementary school. This will prepare them for adulthood. (my gifted brother still can’t do his own laundry!)
• Money sense – the idea that money doesn’t just appear magically in a bank account. You have to have a job and earn that money.
• Basic accounting – if you can add and subtract, you can balance a check book register.
• Work Ethic -hard working people aren’t always the richest people in the world, but they are usually the ones employed.
• Being on time – this sort of falls under work ethic, but being on time with paying your bills, getting to work, making sure you make it to the movies before the movie starts so you don’t disrupt others. I’m sure you get the point, it’s basically being considerate of others.

Are there some I’ve left out, but you’re compelled to add? Am I wrong about the boxing people or kids into a certain modality? Were you the ‘gifted’ child who succeeded? I’m curious to hear from my readers (now that I actually have some readers ).