Why are others always late!?
I have this awful habit of being on time, all the time. Even when I think I’m running late, I end up at my destination ON TIME. Yet, the person I’m meeting is usually NEVER on time. I rush to my destination, whether it’s the library for a tutoring session or Starbucks to meet a girlfriend for coffee, and I get there right on time (or even a few minutes early). Then, I wait….and I wait. For some reason unknown to me, no one can be where they say they’re going to be on time. Many minutes of my day are wasted waiting. Now I’m not one to really waste time; I might whip out my phone and quickly glance at the news headlines, or I might outline the next article I’m going to write in my head. Yet, as the saying goes, time is money. Lately, I’ve been realizing I’m missing out on making money by having to wait a good 10-15 minutes (this especially applies to my tutoring sessions!)
An obvious solution to this problem would be to become one with the ever-tardy masses. However, I just can’t bring myself to be late. The moment I feel that I’m running the slightest bit late, I begin to panic and hurry, even if I know the other person will be tardy and I’ll be left again waiting on them. There also seems to be a variation in how tardy a person is;
- There’s the few minutes late person (this person I can usually quickly forgive)
- The 10-15 minutes late person (these people really irk me!)
- And then there’s the half-hour late people which I have to call and make sure we’re still meeting (these people are just plain rude!)
Perhaps an alternate solution would be to give the known tardy person a separate time to meet, say a 15-minute head start. That way if they are running late (which is a normal habit for them), they won’t know it because I’ll meet them at a time 15-minutes later than agreed. But then is that just me running late?
There may be no perfect solution for the ever tardy folks who just can’t get their acts together. I may have more say with my tutoring clients, by charging them for those additional minutes. People all of a sudden can make it on time as soon as money is involved. But how do I charge a friend who’s running late? Perhaps I’ll forever be a punctual person who must wait…and wait.
Are you part of the tardy masses? Or are you one of the punctual people who is forever irritated with the tardy folks?
Now, some shout-out’s to those who have been driving traffic to my site this week (Thank you, thank you!):
- Saving Cents with Sense
- WiseBread
- Ultimate Money Blog
- Funny About Money
- Money Reasons
- Financial Samurai
- Credit Card Chaser
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Oh my gosh, I could have written this post! I am always early or on-time, and am often stewing when the person I am meeting strolls up late. The worst is when there is no apology, that drives me insane!
There is no answer other than to live in frustration. We can’t bring ourselves to be late. If I ever am, it is because of construction or something and I then frantically call the person to say I will be five minutes late. They then say ‘Oh, I just left, no problem’ and then I am stuck waiting for them anyway.
.-= Everyday Tips´s last blog ..Link Round Up- and Some Complaining About the Heat =-.
A lot of this is cultural. On time means different things in different parts of the country and that’s difficult for those of us brought up in the Midwest or other areas where we say what we mean and mean what we say (unless it isn’t nice and then we say nothing at all). In Southern California where everyone is always late, showing up at all has a probability attached to it. But they also don’t generally take offense if you go off without them once they haven’t shown up on time.
I tend to bring a book or some work with me. Or we meet someplace where I can get started before they show up. Or I pick them up. Or for specific people I just add X minutes.
I did have one friend (from Wisconsin! So no excuse.) who was always late and I just teased her about it until she started taking extra care to show up on time when meeting me.
.-= Nicole´s last blog ..Cooking for 1 =-.
I’m like the same as you and @Everyday Tips, to a point.
The point at which I don’t feel the same is when a person or client has a repeat history of being late, or worse yet always underestimating they time it takes them to meet me!
For these special cases, I always go to where we are meeting at the time I think it would take them to get there. For the most part, I guess correctly. I guess I’m kind of handicapping their time guessing abilities… (must like as in golf).
@Everyday Tips – I just experienced another tardy person yesterday! I wanted to take a tour of a rental house and the “agent/owner” made a point to not be late or call if I needed to change my appointment time. I told her I’d be right on time. I get to the house early (of course) and I wait. 15 minutes past the hour we were supposed to meet and I decide to call her. She hadn’t even left yet! I continued waiting only because I really wanted to see the house (she also had another rental property I wanted to see) but it was really irritating. She did finally arrive; 25 minutes late!
@Nicole – I think you have a point about people in Southern California, there is this definite view that everyone is late (maybe due to our terrible traffic.) But still, it’s so irritating! However, I was raised in SoCal (everyone always thinks I’m an east coast or mid west gal) and somehow I can make appointments on time!
@Money Reasons – If I tried to guess when people would arrive, and then underestimate, I’d feel horrible! I sort of pride myself on being on time, even if I’m the only one ever on time. I like the analogy to golf, though. It takes some intuitive abilities to guess how late a person is going to be!
I usually try to be on time, and I definitely call if I’m going to be late. To do that, I have to give myself 30 extra minutes. For example, if I am supposed to meet you at 6:30 and you live an hour away, I should leave the house at 5:30. But I have to tell myself I have to leave at 5:00. Otherwise I end up being late. As for people who are late, there’s really no point in getting worked up over it. Always plan for it with something else to do while you’re waiting. I really love it when I’m working on a knitting project and the other person is running late. Then I get to spend more time relaxing and knitting. If you can shift your way of thinking about this it will ease your frustration. It’s going to happen, you can’t control people. As for the tutoring time… I guess what I’d have to turn into a hard a$$ over that. Tutoring is 5pm to 6pm and ends precisely at 6pm. Payment of one hour is still required. After paying for a full hour’s tutoring a time or two maybe they will find a way to be on time. Look at this way: you may influence this person for the rest of their life to be early or tardy.
.-= Mrs. Accountability´s last blog ..We’re Actually Taking a Vacation =-.
I’m always early if I can help it. I hate it when I’m late for some reason, even though it rarely happens. I try to be lenient when other people are late because I have a few friends who are habitually late.
.-= Fig´s last blog ..I’m Getting Married! =-.
Yep, we have a perpetually tardy friend like that. we always say we should tell her to be there an hour earlier than the actual start time…but nobody ever actually does
.-= eemusings´s last blog ..It’s a love story- baby just say yes =-.
I developed the bad habit of being early as a result of my military time (always show up 15 minutes early was the motto).
I am very annoyed by people who are perpetually late. If I call the meeting, we just start without them.
.-= Kay Lynn (aka Bucksome)´s last blog ..What If You Didn’t File Your Taxes This Year =-.
I’m testing to make sure I don’t end up in my own spam filter! Too many of us are being marked as “spam”!
.-= Little House´s last blog ..Over at Wisebread Today! =-.
@Kay Lynn (aka Bucksome)
I don’t think showing up early is a “bad habit.” I think people who are late are the ones with the “bad habits!”
.-= Little House´s last blog ..Over at Wisebread Today! =-.
@Mrs. Accountability – I like how you manage your time, if only everyone else did that: give themselves plenty of time to get there! As for getting worked up about it, I’m a pretty even keeled person; no one ever knows if I’m mad or not (I’m good at hiding it – which probably isn’t very healthy!) However, I should be more diligent about my tutoring clients. I either need to charge them for my extra time; for instance they show up 15 minutes late but still want a full hour (I should charge them those additional 15 minute – or 30 since I’m having to stay 15 minutes later than planned.) or I need to stop the tutoring session exactly when it should be stopped, meaning the student may only get 45 minutes of tutoring. Thanks for your advice!
@Fig – I know a few people who make a habit of running late. It’s an unfortunate habit because in some cases, it has lost them a job!
@eemusings – In theory, telling the late person to come an hour early sounds like an easy plan. However, I think it’s easier said than done, especially if you get confused yourself with the time of the event after telling others the actual time!
Oh my gosh, we are one and the same! I wrote a post about this called “Punctuality Breeds Credibility, Stop Being Late” after someone was 2 hrs + late. Drives me nuts!
http://www.financialsamurai.com/2010/03/19/punctuality-breeds-credibility-tardiness-flakers/
.-= Financial Samurai´s last blog ..I’m Going To Kick My Own Ass =-.
@Financial Samurai – I remember that article now that you mention it! I’m so tired of everyone being late. It just irks me to no end!
Geographic location is no excuse for rudeness. When I tutor, time starts when we planned. If the student only gets 15 minutes of tutoring, too bad. I stop at the time I would have stopped if the person had been on time.If tutoring starts at 4 pm, it is scheduled to stop at 4:55 pm. I do need a break between students. I had a friend with a baby. I had a baby. When I arrived to pick her up, she would be in pajamas, needed a shower, baby was not ready, and she had to finish the chapter in the book she was reading before she could start getting ready. Well, one day, I picked up my infant, told her to call me when she was ready, and went home. From then on she was ready to go or hustling and almost ready. Making allowances for other people’s bad habits and rudeness just teaches them how to treat you rudely.
@Linda – You’re completely right. Allowing bad behavior to continue just condones it. I just need to practice being more outspoken!
I’ve always been Mr Punctuality and if I’m going solo you can be sure I’ll be a few minutes early. But if I’ve got the wife and kids in tow odds are we’ll be running behind.
.-= Mike – Saving Money Today´s last blog ..I Got Paid 60 To Eat French Fries =-.
I am super punctual and get pissed when people make me wait for more than 10 minutes. To destress, I now always bring a book or something to do. They still annoy me but they don’t raise my blood pressure too often…
@Little House
We actually did that in college for one of our friends. She was always still late, but much less late.
Here’s another vote to the always on time crowd. (usually early).
There are 2 reasons that drive this. First, I hate the stress of being late and feeling rushed.
Second, I think it’s rude and unprofessional to keep people waiting. If I think
of the worst offender I know for tardiness, this person actually HATES to be kept waiting and complains when someone is later than they are. I interpret that behavior as “I value my time way more than yours. I don’t care if I waste your time, as long as you don’t waste mine.” Ooh, this is such a hot button for me.
It’s great to hear that my PF peeps are like me in more ways than one. Anyone else think its selfish and rude to keep others waiting?
Oh, and my best girlfriend used to always be late and she totally kicked the habit. She realized it was rude. She first made plans in such a way as to not to keep people waiting (ie, don’t wait for me, I’ll meet you there), and eventually she got the hang of being on time. I really think it’s something you can learn to do and those who choose not to are selfish.
@Sandy L – I agree that late people are usually rude. Until they realize it’s selfish of them, they won’t change. I’m glad to hear your girlfriend now makes it a point to try and be on time!
I was always running 15 minutes late for any appointment until I got my first ‘real’ job out of college. When one of the employees asked me why I was always arriving 15 minutes after everyone else I explained that since I was free-lancing, I was being paid on ‘my time’ and only bill in 15 minute increments. She told me that it seemed a bit rude and I have been early or on time for everything since then.
It is true that if nobody seems to take offense then the tardy person may never really understand that they are being rude.
I’m exactly the same way, can’t stand lack of punctuality. I have a colleague who is constantly late and it has become an issue. So we instituted a penalty of a dollar/minute if you are late. He’s had to pay me $15-30 multiple times now.
It’s good that we can laugh about it now (and I make some money)…but at the same time it’s irritating because he thinks that he can just pay money and that the issue goes away. It boils down to a lack of respect for others, and the belief that your time is more important than someone elses.
.-= Car Negotiation Coach´s last blog ..Trade-in tax calculation =-.
I hate when people are running late and don’t call ahead! It’s like they don’t value your time at all!
For our wedding, we actually put the start time to be an hour earlier than the REAL start time. The people who we knew would be on time, we called them and told them the true time…everybody else strolled in late just as we expected and we started on time.
.-= Khaleef @ KNS Financial´s last blog ..Weekly Roundup for 81510 – Forced Volunteering Edition =-.
@Car Negotiation Coach – I love that approach! If I could charge everybody one dollar for every minute I had to wait, I’d be wealthy! It’s funny that your colleague is still not really “getting” it though.