Sharing Life Lessons, Even When Other’s Don’t Listen

This Thanksgiving I visited my family. They live a couple of hours north of me in a small town, and I visit them a few times a year. They moved to their small town (population just under 7,000) right around the time I entered college, I decided to stay behind in the “big city” because I had too many things going on. My brother, however, was only in middle school at the time of the move and had no choice but to move with them. He has basically grown up in a small town.

Small towns can be great. At least, that’s what I’ve heard and read. I wouldn’t really know from a first hand experience. They seem quaint and homey in some ways. Yet, they can also be inhibitors when it comes to looking for work. For instance, my brother is almost 30 and still lives at home. He has gone from part-time job to part-time job never holding on to any one job for more than 6 months at a time. There are many factors influencing his spotty work history, but his one excuse has always been that he lives in the middle of nowhere and it’s hard to find work.

Over the years I’ve tried to give him some tips on how to get a job, where to look for a job, even some specific examples of places that are always hiring. I have been employed non-stop since the age of 16, so my experience should be helpful to his particular situation. Of course I realize that all of my experiences have been in a city of millions and the job prospects are ubiquitous. But, I’ve also struck out on my own and worked for myself. This is something that can work anywhere, small town or big city. As long as the person is willing to work! (This is the main point here!)

While visiting this week, he made a comment about how he was only working about 16 hours a week and would like to work more. Trying to be a helpful sister,  I mentioned that he should look into part-time work in town (they live in a community about 15 minutes from their small town).  I specifically pointed out that Starbucks may be hiring for the holidays and he might want to look there. He poo-pooed that idea, coming up with excuses as to why he couldn’t get a job there.

I soon realized that he didn’t want to work part-time in a retail or restaurant type setting,  based on his excuses for not applying for jobs in town. So, I gave him some entreprenuerial ideas that I thought he might be more open to. The community where my parents live have many retired people. One thing that immediately popped into my head was running errands for the elderly. I told him that he could pick up their groceries for a fee, or be their driver on certain days. Another helpful idea was to mow their lawns, or help them with landscaping. The properties in that community are all over an acre, much too large for older people to take care of on their own. He again came up with an excuse as to why that wouldn’t work.

This made me realize that he really doesn’t want to work. Every idea I came up with, and I thought they were quite good, he had an excuse as to why it wouldn’t work. His excuses weren’t based on experience, he hasn’t tried any of the ideas I’ve mentioned over the years. Instead, they are based on his unwillingness to work. Many of his excuses over the years have revolved around the fact that the small town they live in has a limited amount of jobs available. This may be true, but the number one reason he hasn’t been able to solidify a career for himself is his weak work ethic. As he gets older, his priorities may change and he may decide to develop a stronger work ethic. For now, he is content living with my parents indefinitely.