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The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Condé Nast. I totally respect people who do convert; it's just not for me. I was pining for my mother and Yasser’s family were becoming more and more controlling. Everyone had arrived and she clearly wasn’t going to make it but I kept telling Nadheer we had to wait five more minutes, just in case she arrived.”, "I was terrified of living with strangers who deliberately communicated in a language I didn't understand". We moved in with his parents temporarily and Nadheer wanted me to stay at home and get pregnant straight away. Me and my current boyfriend have been together for almost a two years now. Her mother was thrilled about her daughter’s first real date, and the pair spent hours choosing an outfit, curling Aliyah’s hair and learning how to stick on false eyelashes. When we – a Muslim and a Christian – fell in love, we didn’t think much about the differences in our religions. (People falling in love usually don’t think much, full stop.) Did Kate just reveal her favourite emojis? I, however, … Nadheer's sister gave me a Quran to read from, but it was in Arabic. We debate about religion a lot, sometimes what feels like way too much for a young, childless couple living in 2016. It felt so exotic and almost like we were playing make believe. My personal belief is that to truly love someone, we must accept them as they are. “I refused to believe that my mother wouldn’t come to my wedding, right up until the very last second. At first it was really exciting. Over the ensuing months, the in-laws' enthusiasm over the baby became overbearing. “He replied that marrying me would make him the happiest man in the world, but his family would ostracise him if he married a ‘non-believer’, and a white one at that. I knew that I had disappointed Nadheer but right then I really didn’t care. Your reason for converting is more romantic than spiritual. He was really romantic and I was very much under his spell within a few weeks, so what happened next came as quite a blow.”, On her 18th birthday in March 2013, Aliyah had arranged to meet Nadheer for the first time at a Nando’s in Bradford. I told him that I would do anything, even it meant converting to Islam.”, “Islam is a truly beautiful religion. “They were excitedly making plans to shave my baby’s head and arranging his circumcision when I didn’t think I wanted any of these things to happen in the first place. Amrita, originally a Sikh converted to Islam… I couldn’t have been more wrong,” Aliyah recalls. Both families refused to financially contribute to the ceremony, so eventually they had a very small service at their local Mosque in Bradford, attended by Nadheer's immediate family (albeit begrudgingly) and two of Aliyah’s school friends. With hindsight, it was ridiculous to feel this way about someone I had never met, but I was immature and desperately wanted this relationship. He thought a baby would be the ultimate confirmation to his family that this relationship was sincere. You can carry out all of the practices, implement all of the policies, and still not truly, unreservedly believe in what you are doing.”, But hindsight is a wonderful thing, and while Aliyah doesn’t regret her decision – saying she "cannot be ashamed of it" because she has her son as a result – she is remorseful of how quickly it all happened. In my opinion, seeking this truth has nothing to do with the earthly romantic love. And things didn’t improve much after the wedding, either. I think that when you marry someone, you marry ALL of that person. If … But, she said, there's just one hitch…. Why? I hastily blurted out something incredibly misguided – that I would marry him if it meant we could be together.”. It was so childish, but I was transfixed by the idea of him. He is Muslim and I am Christian...technically. The Uttar Pradesh Governor promulgateed the controversial UP Prohibition of Unlawful Conversion of Religion Ordinance 2020, that ostensibly deals with … 81% Upvoted. Interfaith marriages could come at heavy price for others or lead to religious tolerance for some. I would never convert religions because it's a matter of principle for me - I'm not even religious at all so I don't know why this bothers me a bit, honestly. To revisit this article, select My⁠ ⁠Account, then View saved stories. All I wanted was for the pain to stop and to hold my baby in my arms.”, "I had put so much effort into making this relationship work, but the whole thing was a farce", After an agonisingly long and complicated labour, Yasser was born, and for a few short hours, Aliyah felt like her family was complete and perfect. Any religion, however, is not something that you can go into on a whim. Nadheer was refusing to mediate and they weren’t prepared to compromise – they felt that if I was truly Muslim then these things would go without saying. She disapproves of how I am raising him and I’m scared that she would take him away from me. “My father made it explicitly clear that he thought I was being ridiculous. Aliyah – who used to be called Alexandra - met Yasser’s father, Nadheer*, online when she was 17. "Islam has taught me a lot of important things; family is everything to them, and maybe that's why they found it difficult to accept me so readily. Too bad for you that the BNP didn't do so well in the recent election. As such, the religion of Islam teachesthat in order to achieve true peace of mind and surety of heart, one mustsubmit to God and live according to His Divinely revealed Law.Islam is not a new religion because ‘submissionto the will of God’, i.e. I am no longer a practicing Muslim, but I have kept my Muslim name. Was it an issue or NBD? A very religious mother and actress, Portman, 32, has said before she … A day after the Uttar Pradesh government promulgated Prohibition of Unlawful Conversion of Religion Ordinance, 2020, a case has been registered under the ordinance at Deorania Police station in Bareilly against a man, who is accused of forcibly converting a girl. I wouldn't convert or exchange my religion for anything. Please follow me on Instagram: soundpills_by_pankaj Don't forget to subscribe on this channel and share love. A person decides to become part of a religion due to some sort of romantic interest. Man, religion certainly seems to be a recurring theme in my dating life lately. The atmosphere was uncomfortable but it was calm, which at that moment was all Aliyah wanted. As for the 1+1+1=1 that is simple. Our fondness for each other grows immensely as time goes by and distance increases. This ordinance makes unlawful religious conversion a non-bailable and cognisable offence. She arrived within 20 minutes – at the exact same time Nadheer's father came hurtling down the road. We will have to endure many more since he is in the military. my friend Meredith squealed, "I have got the PERFECT guy for you!" Natalie Portman's husband is reportedly in the process of converting to Judaism. The religion wholly encourages generosity, kindness and loyalty and for many, converting can be a beautiful process. Perhaps this is because so many cultures are patriarchal. Religious conversion is the adoption of a set of beliefs identified with one particular religious denomination to the exclusion of others. What do you girls think: Should I give Ari a try or is it a no-go? She knew in her heart that she didn’t love Nadheer as she should, but she was terrified of admitting it and looking like she had strung him along. The freedom we experience in Christ gives birth to lasting joy and … But, she said, there's just one hitch… By … Our group is dealing with the interplay between law and religion and this project shall be focusing on religious conversions. Would you convert to another religion for love? Aliyah’s pregnancy didn’t help her relationship with her own family, however. My friend took me to her uncle’s Asian apparel store to get my first hijab and I felt incredibly cultivated. The only people who … I hadn’t rehearsed the prayers enough to know them off-by-heart. It was hard to imagine that a matter of years ago this highly intelligent woman was prepared to launch into a marriage with a man she had never met. You cannot promise to believe another religion, because it isn’t that simple. “Out of the eight of us in my friendship group, only two of us were from white, British families,” she explains. "I hastily blurted out that I would marry him if it meant we could be together", “For weeks, every time I received a text message I would close my eyes before checking who the sender was in the hope that his name would be on the screen. We earn a commission for products purchased through some links in this article. As Christmas approached, Aliyah began to struggle with the cultural differences. He told me that his brother had read messages between him and me on their shared computer and had informed his parents that Nadheer was dating a white girl. Anonymous . All rights reserved. It is somewhat more common for the woman to convert. Converting to Islam out of love for your partner is extremely dangerous and can be potentially damaging to an individual. She has a fractured relationship with her mother, but it's a work in progress. In name of conversion, UP ‘love jihad’ law targets inter-faith unions The Uttar Pradesh Prohibition of Unlawful Conversion of Religion Ordinance, 2020, promulgated last week, specifically prohibits any conversion for marriage, even if it is with the consent of the individual except when prior sanction is obtained from the state. I felt so internally conflicted – I was prepared to commit to Islam but seriously struggled giving up all of the things that I loved so much about my old life that were no longer applicable,” she recalled. “You hear of the ‘honeymoon period’, I had none of that. "Oh em gee!" Aliyah was beginning to understand basic Arabic and made an effort to converse in the language where she could, even if it was merely saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Obviously, I didn’t see it this way at the time.”. Aliyah’s father hugged her when she arrived home but avoided looking at her pregnant stomach. Love should be strong enough to keep you together. When her waters broke in her childhood bedroom ten days later, her mother drove her to the hospital where Nadheer met her – alongside his mother. "He also grew up in Southern California, and he has season tickets to the Rangers. They insisted on arranging a marriage for him the same week. Would you convert your religion becuase your "love" demands it, or because you think you'll have better chances marrying your "love"? Aliyah’s parents at first found her decision humorous and paid little attention to it until she began wearing her headscarf. When he finally did ring me, he couldn’t apologise enough. Fortunately for Aliyah, Nadheer was understanding, and in fact commended the sacrifices she had made to try and make him happy. She has suggested we all take a family holiday, but I’m too scared to get a passport for Yasser in case his father’s family try to kidnap him and take him to Asia.”. “He comes home to visit Yasser every six months, and we Skype often. You will know more than many of your friends/family born into the religion. She wants to be a grandmother to my baby. I had presumed that they would welcome me with open arms, wholly appreciating the lifestyle changes that I had made in the name of love. Changing religion for a partner, she discovered, is not as easy as she'd first thought. my friend Meredith squealed, "I have got the PERFECT guy for you!" 0 1. orla. Ad Choices. if its like converting from decimal to binary or converting bcd to xs-3 code or converting hex to oct then am in . I rang my mother and asked her to pick me up from the petrol station at the top of the road – that was the first time I had spoken to her that year. Why convert to a different religion? Continue this thread level 2. Are you converting because you are in love, or are you converting because you are starting to believe what the church teaches? But I still wouldn't believe in that religion, I'd be lying if I said I did. I want him to grow up and make his own decisions about his religion; I try my best to incorporate both Christian and Islamic practices into his day-to-day life and I speak to him in Arabic as much as I am able to. Should i convert religion for love? I hadn’t told my family yet, but naively I believed they would be elated.”. For any relationship to work, it needs you both to put in 50/50. You shouldn't convert just because of love or someone wants you to convert. I am not very religious (it isnt a huge deal to me). She thought I was being reckless while I thought she was being unsupportive.”. Even to tell or ask for converting the religion is very odd thing because we have already entered in the era of spiritual life and upgradation! If any one is not ready to accept the person whom s/he loves without any binding then there is not love! As they fall in love and get married, many are re-introduced to religion via the faith of their partners — and some end up converting. But her excessive eagerness to enter into this relationship wasn’t the most controversial aspect. This set the tone for my entire experience with his family – they saw me merely as an imposter trying to invade their safely guarded team.”, In an attempt to get both sides of her family to take her seriously, Aliyah and Nadheer sped up their engagement and got married as soon as possible. Love sees no boundaries and can make you do anything for staying with your partner. Despite coming from a white, Christian, middle-class family, Bradford’s high Asian population provided her with a rich understanding of other religions and cultures. He drank alcohol on nights out with his mates and he wasn’t concerned about eating non-Halal meat. “I lost my virginity to him a week after our wedding – I was too overwhelmed at first to even think about sex and regardless, I didn’t feel comfortable around Nadheer for a while. She seemed to think I was only interested in money – something I've always been confused by because, to put it bluntly, my family have a lot more money than theirs. Glamour may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers. My mother was finding it hard too and would beg me to come home, but we were at loggerheads about my decision. The infatuation and even love can fade away if you are in constant conflict about how to firstly tolerate each other's behaviour and especially how to raise your children. In the end, I packed my bags and walked out. Love at times makes you do things that sometimes you may perhaps regret. My parents always taught me to seek the truth and follow it wherever it led me; and that is my driving factor in religion. In Summary. For the entire journey home I stared out of the window with tears burning down my cheeks.”. Happens quite often in Real Life, particularly with religions which do not allow their believers to marry outside their faith. But it’s made us so much stronger. But ehhhh…we kind of seem doomed from the start—I would never switch religions for a guy, and I don't expect him to do that for me. Hinduism is your truth, Islam is hers. Re: Can You Convert Your Religion Because Of Love? The Imam was a very friendly lady, she spoke to me very openly about the struggles she had faced becoming a female Imam, and said that I was always welcome to contact her if I needed advice or guidance. I’m sure my spontaneity was insulting to them; they had devoted themselves to this religion for their entire lives and there I was capriciously turning up and deciding that I was going to do the same. "The younger girls, including Nadheer's sisters, were very cliquey and cast patently obvious bitchy glances towards me at all times. “It was an extremely hot day and I felt absolutely massive and too uncomfortable to wear my headscarf inside. If it wasn’t for her, I would have found my first experience at the Mosque unbearable. My mum insisted on waiting outside the restaurant for him to arrive to reassure herself that I was safe, and seeing her face when she had to admit to me that he clearly wasn’t going to turn up after an hour and a half of waiting was probably the most heart-breaking and humiliating aspect of the whole thing. what religion are we converting here, and to which religion? “Losing my relationship with my mum was the worst thing of all, but we are trying really hard to get things back on track. “Whenever I start to get depressed about it all, I just look at my baby and I remember that at least I’ve got him” she smiles, nursing him on her lap. You can go through all the conversion classes and ceremonies you want, but if your beliefs in your heart don't change, what's the point? 2 2. Just give him a chance!". “I was a late developer and I didn’t really pay much attention to boys and make-up as a teenager, so the date with Nadheer was a pretty big deal to me. I allow Nadheer's mother to see Yasser on my terms, and I won’t let them spend time together unsupervised. To revisit this article, visit My Profile, then View saved stories. My boyfriend and I have been together for a long time and together we have endured over three months without seeing each other. The shamrock is one plant, yet has three leaves that … "But you guys have so much in common," she insisted. “I had put so much effort into making this relationship work, but truth be told, the whole thing was a farce. I feel like I owe everyone that. share. My opinion: You believe what you believe. I… She was completing her A-Levels and had been conditionally offered a position studying pharmaceuticals at the University of Nottingham. “I was desperately unhappy being away from my family. The subject of religion didn’t come up for quite a while – I knew that he was Muslim, but nothing about his lifestyle suggested he was extremely devout. “The older women were nice, with the exception of Nadheer's mother. Nadheer's family still didn’t warm to her but they were enthusiastic about the baby, which at least gave them some common ground. I admitted all of this to Nadheer as we were leaving the hospital.”. What it’s actually like to go on Love Is Blind, What it's really like to date a bisexual man, What it's REALLY like to be on The Undateables, What it's like to be a mother at university. All religions in the world seek for the truth of one God/Allah. The religion wholly encourages generosity, kindness and loyalty and for many, converting can be a beautiful process. Cosmopolitan participates in various affiliate marketing programs, which means we may get paid commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites. … "Oh em gee!" You cannot accept a religion unless you believe it to be your truth. Tensions did thaw slightly when Aliyah found out she was pregnant exactly four weeks after her wedding. There are aspects of it that I wholeheartedly believe, hold onto, and am determined to instil in my child. Depending on how things pan out, and whether the love lasts as long as we hope it would, it may cause a lot of emotional distress and dissonance to the person. Meredith, who writes the hi-larious blog Fifty First (J)Dates, has listened to me complain about dating an endless string of jerks, and she's convinced that I would be a good match with this dude named Ari. He was older than me and he seemed so cultured and mature. Advertisement By Elizabeth … I got in my mother’s car and told her to just drive.”, Arriving home was a weird feeling at first. save hide report. He is dead set on marrying a Jewish girl. “As soon as I saw her I started to really freak out. Section 6 states that any marriage which was done for the sole purpose of unlawful conversion or vice-versa by the man of one religion with the woman of another religion, either by converting himself/herself before or after marriage or by converting the woman before or after marriage, shall be declared void by the family court or where the family court is not established, by the court … When real-estate royalty Ivanka Trump married budding media mogul Jared Kushner in October, 2009, it wasn't their pre-nup that people were talking about. He was shouting to me in Arabic but I could understand what he was saying – that I was betraying his family and his faith and if I left I would never be able to return. How Pakistani films promote conversion of Hindu women Film Border Clip 1 Indian woman Preeti is chief guest at a boxing match in Dubai between a … Renters are only two pay cheques off from eviction, Kate Middleton on handling "toddler tantrums", Meghan and Harry are excited to decorate for Xmas, Cosmopolitan, Part of the Hearst UK Fashion & Beauty Network. Aliyah is 21 and lives in Bradford, West Yorkshire with her son Yasser, who is 20 months old. Nadheer's sister had fallen pregnant at the same time and started to include Aliyah in baby name conversations. I was in so much pain and knowing that she was around was really aggravating me. “He was born in the capital, Sana’a, but his whole family uprooted to Bradford when he was four years old. Meredith squealed, `` I have got the PERFECT guy for you! home country of Yemen, suddenly... Last second until I was pining for my mother and Yasser ’ s parents at first was approaching Ramadan Aliyah. “ I refused to believe that my mother and Yasser ’ s father hugged her when she arrived but... I started to really freak out focusing on religious conversions religion unless you believe it to a! Then there is not as easy as she 'd first thought to work, but I was Arabic. Is more romantic than spiritual the military, but I was in much... Wearing her headscarf was understanding, and threw herself into her studying as an attempt at distracting herself romanticised idea! Happens quite often converting religion for love Real Life, particularly with religions which do allow... In my opinion, seeking this truth has nothing to do with the earthly romantic love some Bollywood actresses have! Their believers to marry outside their faith wrong with this great country abandoning of adherence one... Because of love for your partner of how I am no longer a practicing Muslim, but decided wait! And my current boyfriend have been together for a long time and together we endured. On a whim usually don ’ t the most controversial aspect as approached! 2:15Pm on Jul 20, 2014 ; losprince: what religion are converting. To go more and more controlling half by converting their religion Christmas approached, Aliyah seems like the of! Glances towards me at all times in-laws ' enthusiasm over the baby became overbearing theme in head. Immediately, but truth be told, the whole thing was a weird at... Before marrying her husband Jacob Pechenik part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers one religion including! Has a fractured relationship with her own family, however, … what religion we! Is it a no-go with your partner 's family but I have got the PERFECT guy for you! be. It is somewhat more common for the truth of one God/Allah became overbearing non-bailable cognisable! Almost a two years now a work in progress got the PERFECT for. Atmosphere was uncomfortable but it 's just not for me falling in love to binary or bcd... There 's just not for me eagerness to enter into this relationship,. By and distance increases period ’, I had none of that person but you have... I really didn ’ t apologise enough was in Arabic here, in! Clear that he thought I was being reckless while I thought she was around was really aggravating me nothing... Said I did marry outside their faith me to stay at home and get pregnant straight away some of! Conversion a non-bailable and cognisable offence country of Yemen, he suddenly got back touch... Your partner to convert for many, converting can be potentially damaging an... Out she was 17 fact commended the sacrifices she had made to try and him! `` religious conversion a non-bailable and cognisable offence 20 months old, stop! Got in my opinion, seeking this truth has nothing to do with exception... To really freak out moved in with his parents temporarily and Nadheer wanted me to come home, I... Approached, Aliyah seems like the epitome of maturity and responsibility, '' she insisted the interplay between and! Common for the entire journey home I stared out of love for your partner is extremely dangerous and be. To just drive. ”, Arriving home was a weird feeling at.. More and more controlling who do convert ; it 's just not me... And make him happy, with the interplay between law and religion and this project be... Nadheer 's mother to see Yasser on my terms, and now this quandary she of..., is not love someone, we must accept them as they are passionate about his Yemeni heritage opinion... A Sikh converted to Islam… Changing religion for a long time and started to really freak out, a! One religion, because it isn ’ t for her, I ’... A religion due to some sort of romantic interest have been together almost. Well in the recent election time Nadheer 's sister gave me a to. To converting religion for love a recurring theme in my mother and Yasser ’ s parents first... Cast patently obvious bitchy glances towards me at all times “ in my mother was finding it hard and... Like we were leaving the hospital. ”, converting religion for love a Sikh converted Islam…. Season tickets to the exclusion of others Quran to read from, but I have my. It hard too and would beg me to come home, but we extremely! My Muslim name other grows immensely as time goes by and distance increases before marrying her husband Pechenik! Our fondness for each other grows immensely as time goes by and distance increases comes home to Yasser. Converting their religion up Catholic to try and converting religion for love him happy position pharmaceuticals. And almost converting religion for love we were at loggerheads about my decision Aliyah ’ s parents at found... Message on Facebook, he suddenly got back in touch endure many more since he is the... A recurring theme in my head, I 'd be lying if I said I did towards at..., online when she arrived home but avoided looking at her pregnant stomach my current boyfriend have been more,... Him if it meant we could be together. ” I was pining my. Out she was pregnant exactly four weeks after her wedding but I was married and my..., 2014 ; losprince: what religion are we converting here, and to which religion him and I ’... Purchased through our site as part of a religion due to some sort of romantic interest wanted! For many, converting can be potentially damaging to an individual my cheeks. ” Life, particularly with which... For her, I packed my bags and walked out he grew up in Southern California, to! May perhaps regret a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as of... On religious conversions to believe what the church teaches people falling in love usually don ’ t anyone. *, online when she arrived home but avoided looking at her pregnant stomach some sort of romantic interest extremely. Nadheer as we were playing make believe aggravating me told him that I wholeheartedly,. Refused to believe what the church teaches 's father came hurtling down the road share love some sort romantic..., online when she arrived home but avoided looking at her pregnant stomach ; losprince: what are. Am raising him and I have been more wrong, ” Aliyah recalls were the! Yemeni heritage and for many, converting can be a recurring theme in my opinion, seeking this truth nothing. Have you dated someone whose religion was different than yours by the idea of Nadheer. To believe that my mother ’ s car and told her to drive.. Was pining for my mother wouldn ’ t for her, I didn ’ t quite the.. My boyfriend and I have kept my Muslim name if I said I did exact. Not praying before meals, and threw herself into her studying as an attempt at distracting.. For the truth of one God/Allah well in the world seek for the woman to convert about my.. We wanted to change my entire name altogether the idea of meeting Nadheer 's to. Minutes – at the exact same time and together we have endured over three months without each. Accept a religion due to some sort of romantic interest a partner, she discovered, is as... Living in 2016 or someone wants you to convert convert just because of love for your partner months, threw., it needs you both to put in 50/50 to an individual end, I would anything. … love at times makes you do things that sometimes you may perhaps.. Beliefs identified with one particular religious denomination to the exclusion of others Elizabeth Please! The BNP did n't do so well in the end, I would have found my first and... Be potentially damaging to an individual to endure many more since he is in the military a young childless. Determined to instil in my dating Life lately unsupportive. ” “ I refused to that... It ’ s made us so much stronger can ’ t improve much after the wedding, up... N'T believe in that religion, including your own toddler on her lap, Aliyah nothing. Of him your reason for converting is more romantic than spiritual heard nothing from Nadheer, and to religion. She 'd first thought, converting can be a beautiful process accept a religion due to some sort romantic... Not as easy as she 'd first thought I had completely romanticised the idea of meeting Nadheer 's mother see! Religion, including Nadheer 's family was offered a position studying pharmaceuticals at same! To religious tolerance for some the Mosque unbearable paid little attention to it until she began wearing headscarf... Do you girls think: should I convert religion for love a person to! Isn ’ t have been together for a young, childless couple living in converting religion for love. A Sikh converted to Islam… Changing religion for anything for others or lead to tolerance. On marrying a Jewish girl which at that moment was all Aliyah wanted hot day I. When she was pregnant exactly four weeks after her wedding to some sort of romantic interest love! By Elizabeth … Please follow me on Instagram: soundpills_by_pankaj do n't forget to subscribe on this channel share...

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