I’ve become better at predicting the future or should I say, plotting out what might happen based on a choice I’ve made. I’ve developed this through trial and error. Thankfully, many of my poor choices occurred when I was young and I had time to repair them. That’s not the case for an old friend. He knowingly made one terrible choice many years ago and has been paying for it ever since.
Now, before I extrapolate on his poor choice, I’d like to add that planning who you want to spend your life with counts as a choice. Based on our nation’s divorce rate, half the country has trouble selecting their perfect mate. This isn’t necessarily a problem since divorce can resolve this, but it’s costly just the same.
For our poor friend, before he ever married his wife, he knew he shouldn’t. He made comment after comment about how “crazy” she was almost right up to their wedding. Sadly, a few years later, they split up shortly after having a child together. But that was just the beginning of his woes. Her crazy tendencies have made his life a nightmare; fighting over the child, expecting half his salary, not wanting to work, dragging out the divorce. I’m still not sure they’re officially “divorced” and it’s been 5 years. His poor choice is something he’ll live with at least until his child is 18, maybe older.
Poor choices can come in many forms, but divorce is one that can last many years, especially if a child is involved, and can cause havoc on one’s finances. I’m not an authority on how to reduce expenses in a divorce, but if two people can come to an agreement and be civil to one another through the proceedings, I’m guessing it produces a better outcome than fighting the whole way through.
Perhaps there’s no one way to reduce the divorce rate, but thinking logically about your relationship and making sure you are compatible for the long haul might help. I’m eternally grateful for choosing my spouse. I can’t say I thought logically at the time of my marriage, but we dated for a few years before hand and knew we were compatible. We enjoy spending time together and have a healthy relationship. I’m not sure what drove our friend to marry the girl he thought was “crazy”, maybe he didn’t know how to break up with her or thought he was getting too old and it was the logical next step, but I’m guessing he’s learned a hard lesson.
Have you gone through an expensive divorce or know someone who did?